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Sophia, Monochrome

A decision forced.

Posted on 2006.02.26 at 10:36
Once the call with Luke had finished Sophia sat with her legs pulled up to her chest, the cushion she'd been holding squeezed almost flat as she buried her face in the soft material. She couldn't decide, and she knew Luke was right. Her father wouldn't let her go across the continent on her own to be with Luke. But what was she supposed to do. Tears welled up at the thought of doing this without Luke, without the 'help' they said made it all so much easier, that first flip.

Sobs shook her as she finally let go, tears pouring down her face and soaking into the cushion. Her sleep had been being disturbed for so long, even before he'd gone, but she'd always been able to manage it before. But now she could't. Dreams of the woods, running through them, flashes of others around her and their patient waiting kept waking her. And even worst was another image that appeared every so often. A horrific mangled creature, face covered in hair, but the distortion visible through the mane. Gnarled fingers, dilated pupils and a snarling, growling sound that terrified her.

Her eyes closed, screwing shut trying to stop the image, the creature from appearing in her mind again. For a while it worked, and she eased her grip on the cushion, her tears leaving streaks across her face as her eyelids slowly lowered, weariness overtaking at last. Before she knew it she'd dozed off.

And again she felt the brush of cool mist on her skin. All over her. Like translucent tendrils it wound around her, it's damp caresses bringing to her skin a strange sensation, as if all the hairs were standing on end. And multiplying. Her body arched, the trees around her almost appearing like the bars of a prison window as her sight became blurred and shaky. The pain that wracked her was becoming unbearable, her throat closed over though and preventing her from screaming. Instead all that could be heard was a choked gasp. Her hands scrabbled at her throat, she struggled to breath, but the pain was too great. Her ribs, her spine, her skull feeling like they were being crushed and stretched all at the same instant.

The sound of gravel crunching under tyres wasn't heard by Sophia's ears. All they could hear was the whispers of others who were again sitting around her, waiting. Those, and the cracking and grinding of bones being broken. Her body had fallen off the couch to the floor, her back arched and arms reaching out, fingers scrabbling for a grip on something, anything. Her strangled cry was heard by her father as he opened the front door to a sight that send a sudden pulse of ice through his veins.

"Sophia!" He reached her side and scooped her up in his arms, the stiffness of her body making him shudder. It couldn't be happening now! No! Not now... not ... yet. He'd fought the idea of her being with Luke, hoping beyond all sensibilities that she wouldn't have his blood in her, that she wouldn't be wolfen, but the signs had been too strong, too long. And now there was no denying it.

"Hang on baby, hang on!" He looked around the room frantically, not sure what he wanted. Finally he managed to drag himself and her up onto the couch, his arms holding her tightly. His eyes searched her face, looking for the signs of the flip starting. There was none there, to his relief, but she was still stiff as a board and shaking. He held her until it passed, holding her head to his shoulder and rocking her steadily, whispering softly.

Slowly Sophia came to, her whole body aching. "Daddy?"

When she looked up and saw her father she just broke down, the look on his face and fear in his eyes enough to tell her what had happened. What she didn't see was what Matt did. The gold irises that he'd seen once before.

"Oh, Soph!" he whispered, holding her to his chest again and rocking her, his own tears rolling down his cheeks.


lucascates at 2006-03-05 20:06 (UTC) (Link)
For long moments he just held her, stroking her hair and holding her close, tears streaming down his face unabated. He struggled to pull himself together, knowing he had to be strong here, knowing he finally had to face that Sophia was every bit his daughter, despite her resemblance to her mother.

Finally he stopped weeping, dragging his control back into place and lifted Sophia off his chest, his hands moving to her face, stroking her hair back as he looked at her. The tell tail gold had gone once again from her irises and he kissed her forehead in relief before resting his head against hers, "Tell me what happened sweetheart."
Sophia Donner
wolf_sophia at 2006-03-06 01:01 (UTC) (Link)
She'd clung to his chest, sobbing. It took a while, but when she could finally speak she told him of the dream. And all the others that had been building up.

"But this one really hurt, Daddy. It.. " she inhaled a shaky breath as the memory of the pain came back again. "It was like.. I don't know. Nothing I've ever felt before. Like my bones were breaking, or something."
lucascates at 2006-03-07 22:53 (UTC) (Link)
Her words scared the life out of him. She was showing all the classic signs of flipping. What was even more obvious about what she was telling him was that she was fighting it and that was entirely his fault.

He'd kept everything about his wolven nature from her. If it hadn't been for her attraction to Luke he knew she'd know nothing about what it was to become an full fledged wolven adult.

"Oh sweetie this is all my fault. I'm so sorry honey." He looked down into her scared eyes, remorse written all over his face. "I did this to you. I just so hoped you wouldn't be.... like me. That you'd be like your mother."
Sophia Donner
wolf_sophia at 2006-03-07 22:58 (UTC) (Link)
"Why?" The question was out before she'd had a chance to think about it.

"What's so wrong with being like you? Or like Luke?" The fear in her eyes was obvious. She'd never understood why her father didn't want her to be like 'them', like.. him.

"What's wrong with me?"
lucascates at 2006-03-08 00:55 (UTC) (Link)
"No! No, that's not what I meant sweetheart." He stumbled over his words as he tried to ease her fears, "There's nothing wrong with you. You're beautiful, everything a father could ask for in a daughter."

The full scope of just what kind of damage he'd done to his daughter filled him with remorse and he began to spill out the truth he'd held inside him for so long. "It's just that... I wanted you to have the world Sophia. To have all the things that one of our kind has never had.

"Before she settled down with me, that was how your mother was. Marie was a free spirit, a gypsy. She went where the mood took her." Sighing heavily, he sat back on the couch, "She gave everything up to marry me, knowing that she'd never be able to do that again. That I couldn't leave Wolf Lake."

Matt couldn't look at his daughter as he continued, afraid of what he'd find in her eyes, "After she died I always felt so guilty because of what she had to leave behind. I promised myself that I would give you everything I couldn't give her."

Finally he looked up at Sophia, "And instead all I've done is make this harder on you. I'm so sorry honey."
Sophia Donner
wolf_sophia at 2006-03-08 22:31 (UTC) (Link)
"But why can't you leave? Why can't I? What's so horrible about who we are?" She struggled to sit up a little but gave up, the ache right through her still reminding her of the pain in her nightmare. "Does it always hurt this much?"
lucascates at 2006-03-09 02:33 (UTC) (Link)
Matt didn't know what to say to Sophia's questions. Leaving Wolf Lake just wasn't done. Until Tyler's bold move the only other person to stray from the pack had been Ruby, and she'd done it by flat out running in the dead of night.

So instead he focused on her immediate needs, running a soothing hand over her back, "It hurts because you're fighting it. You have to..." he trailed off, well aware that he was the last person who could help her in this situation after the way he'd lived the last 20 years.

He sighed, running a hand through his hair, "You need Luke don't you? Have you tried calling him since this all started?"
Sophia Donner
wolf_sophia at 2006-03-09 03:03 (UTC) (Link)
"I talked to him earlier, just before I fell asleep." She closed her eyes for a moment and told her father what Luke had said. "If he comes home now though he'll never be able to find out anything. He's supposed to be meeting someone, and is hoping she might be able to tell him something, especially if Creed is hiding anything."

She looked up at her father. "So hopefully he'll be home in a few days or so," she added, voice going a little quiet. The implications of him coming home welled up in her mind and for the first time she started to wonder whether it might not be as bad as her father had had her believe.

"Dad... are you .. OK.. with.. with Luke now?"
lucascates at 2006-03-09 03:34 (UTC) (Link)
"Meeting someone.... Sounds like Creed's been working overtime since he went away." He stood, pacing a little as he thought about Luke Cates coming home.... knowing what that would entail.

Sophia's question brought his head around and he frowned, shaking his head slightly, "I wouldn't say I'm ok with him Soph. I just... I can't ignore how much more at ease he makes you feel. You just seemed to be dealing with things much better when he was around."

He studied her for a few more moments, "Do you think he'd come home if you called him? I'm not saying I think it's the best idea, but you need help and I .... I just don't know what to do."
Sophia Donner
wolf_sophia at 2006-03-09 03:44 (UTC) (Link)
She nodded, eyes turning down to the pillow she'd picked up and was hugging again. "Yeah, he was about to when I told him... about the dreams." She looked up at Matt. "But he could be so close to finding out something about Ruby, and I don't want to stop that. Not since he's travelled all that way." She told Matt more details of what Luke had told her about New York, and where the place was Creed had found.
lucascates at 2006-03-09 17:56 (UTC) (Link)
Matt listened to his daughter, surprised by more than one of her statements. Luke had been willing to come back home and she’d stopped him? And Creed had a pack of his own in New York? Things had certainly changed. He wouldn’t have given Creed six months out in the world on his own. And now Luke was out there with him.

He didn’t like that, not at all. He knew Luke thought Creed had answers about Ruby but he wondered what V’s son had gotten himself into out there. Creed couldn’t be trusted. And despite what he wanted, Sophia need Luke in one piece.

Unfortunately, he could do nothing about that at the moment. Luke was far out of reach to help Sophia and she was closer than she knew to the flip. Her nightmares were causing her physical symptoms. That in and of it self was so frightening he wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. But he didn’t have that luxury; his daughter needed him to be strong.

“Ok sweetheart. It’s all gonna be ok I promise.” He left the room for a moment, returning with some sleeping pills he kept on hand and some water. “We’re gonna fix this but for now I just want you to get some rest ok?” He shook one of the pills out into his hand and held it and the water out to her, “This is gonna help you sleep and hopefully without the dreams and then tomorrow I’ll call Sherman. We’ll figure out what to do I promise.”
Sophia Donner
wolf_sophia at 2006-04-01 12:48 (UTC) (Link)
Continued here.
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